My name is Melissa Henry, I am 44 years old, 5’2” tall and I once weighed 335 pounds. I am married to my high school sweetheart and we have one child, Katrina. We live in a small town of about 3,500 people in Texas.

All of my life I have fought obesity. I am the youngest child of five and the only one of my siblings with this problem. Being overweight, and then obese, and then morbidly obese has been the demon that has haunted me all of my life and has caused me to hide behind low self-esteem, shame and the overall regret of being alive. I was no better than those who are prejudiced against the obese. In fact, I was worse, for I hated myself also. 

I remember growing up and the frustrations my mom went through taking me shopping. Back then, they didn't have a Plus Size department in nearly every store like they do now, so shopping was a living hell for me! I was very hard to fit unless I went to a Speciality Shop, which are great, but usually very expensive.

So needless to say, low self esteem was a big part of my attire that I wore on both the inside and out. It was my favorite outfit by far and was a perfect fit for me. There were many people that would compliment me on my low self esteem by reminding me of my weight problem. 

I remember in my Senior year of high school I had to change from a very small private school (Ft. Smith Christain) to a huge high school (Southside high) where our senior class alone was over 500 students. I was terrified of the change; for I was used to the kids at my old school and now I had to deal with all these new ones and all the jokes and humiliation of being a fat teen in a brand new school.

I remember having to take gym class that year and if we didn't "dress out" (wear the shorts required by the school), we would get an "F" in that class, and so I would pile my huge thighs into these ugly polyester shorts that sported my dimpled knees.

Sometimes we had to play sports with the boys, and there I stood for the entire world to see and be mocked. I was mortified and I had no one to go to with my fears, frustrations or tears. I felt all alone no matter whom I was around regardless if they were family or strangers. Who could possibly understand?

All things happen for a reason though. That was the year I wrote my first song, met Chuck Henry where we became very close friends, then boyfriend/girlfriend and eventually engaged.

At the height of my happiness I was reminded once again of my lack of perfectionism. "If you don't lose that weight, your husband is going to be very disappointed", someone informed me.

"Oh great! Someone new in my life to disappoint! Now what am I supposed to do? Here I thought I found someone who loved me unconditionally!"

That was the first time I became introduced to Weight Watchers. I found it to be very sensible and easy to follow and in the first 2 weeks, I went from 213 pounds down to 203 pounds! This was so cool! But somehow I got off the sensible track of eating right and healthy for my body and began  punishing myself horribly. I hated myself, and it was now apparent; for I wouldn't allow myself to eat more than 300 calories a day, was overdosing on diet pills, and would exercise every chance I had. I did this for 9 months and was looking really good on the outside, but inside I, (my body and my head) was really messed up! I remember Chuck and me going on a walk one afternoon, and we stopped to talk to one of his friends. I don't think I had eaten in about 24 hours, and while we were talking, I fainted! I was so embarrssed! But by my wedding day, I weighed 155 pounds and no longer obese, although I was still over-weight for my 5 ft. 2 inch frame.

My husband was very proud of his new wife that he waited almost 2 years to marry.

Did I mention I'm a good cook?

That's what my husband tells me anyway, and anyone who knows Chuck knows that I have spoiled him in every way I possibly can. The side effects of spoiling him with all kinds of goodies was that I began piling the weight back on almost immediately. Within a year, I was almost as big as I was before I had ever started my starvation plan to lose the weight. So now, not only did I have my parents to disappoint, but I also had a husband and in-laws to embarrass as well. It was at this time that I began to feel suicidal and was trying to think of ways to end my life so that everyone else's could be better. The bigger I became, the lower my self-esteem got! I was in a no-win situation, but somehow I continued to carry with me a sense of humor that was not always a laughing matter.

Twenty plus years went by as I wrapped myself inside a 335 pound cocoon for most of those years. I was morbidly obese, and unable to do the things my friends and family were able to do. Something as simple as taking a walk or riding a bike was not going to happen. Taking my daughter to Six Flags and riding rides was something I basically avoided, not because I'm afraid of rides, but because I couldn't fit in the seats and/or the seatbelt.

How about going out to eat and sitting in a booth?

There were a few times I somehow, some way, managed to get into them...sorta...but seemed to be spilling out of them everywhere when I did. I was a mess, and I hated everything about me. I felt sorry for my husband and daughter because I just wasn't much fun. Something had to change, but what? What was I going to do that would actually make a difference this time? I knew my husband was tired of all the false hopes I had given him int he past; so, should I just give up on the whole mess? Are you kidding? NEVER GIVE UP!

I began making some positive changes and instilled a good exercise regimen. I remember starting out walking only 1 block and it was like trying to climb a mountain! After 3 weeks I was walking 3 blocks and went on until I could walk 1/2 of a mile, then a mile, then a mile and a half. In that mile and a half was (and still is) this huge hill that I threw up half way up, but I kept on going, huffing and puffing, while haulinjg my 300+ pound body. Eventually I was walking up to 6 miles a day! Exercise alone wasn't enough for me to lose weight and when a friend of mine mentioned she was going to join Weight Watchers and invited me to go with her, I was ready to join. That was over 3 years ago and one of the best things I've ever done!

Right away I figured I would fail again, so right away I tried a different approach. I decided that I would lose this weight for ME instead of doing it for others. This not only gave me some sanity, but if anyone else could benefit from my weight loss, it would be considered an extra added bonus! I began to show love and understanding to myself just like I would my husband, daughter or friends. What a difference it has made in my life! 

I have hit many plateaus along the way and there have been times when I would take a week or two off from dieting (on purpose) and then pick back up where I left off and continue down my weight loss journey. I have traded in my low self-esteem for the good stuff! J No longer do I sit on the sidelines watching my husband and daughter do the things I wanted to do, but couldn’t because of my weight. I too, ride the rides at Six Flags without the fear of embarrassment that I’m not going to fit in the seat or the seatbelt won’t fit. I no longer make excuses why I can’t go here or there for fear I couldn’t walk the walk or fit into a seat or booth. I have also been told by others that I am an inspiration to them, so there’s that extra bonus I mentioned above.  

Just as you may find a Bridge in a song, so there was one in my journey. As I was beginning to feel good about myself and felt that I could handle the struggle of weight loss, I found out I had Uterine Cancer. My life came to a screaming halt! A total hysterectomy was the cure for my disease, and thankfully, no other treatments were necessary and my weight loss journey has continued. One thing that should be noted here is that my doctor informed me that my obesity was most likely the cause of my cancer! 

It is a great desire of mine to help others to get out of the same rut I was in and in a better frame of mind. People who are obese are flooded with an enormous amount of guilt, low self-esteem and lack of love for themselves. It would be an honor to be of service to others. 

My goal was to lose 200 pounds. That amount is quite overwhelming for one to think about on a daily basis, so instead I chose to have a lot of  mini goals along the way. Most of the time they are 10 pound goals, but I recently had a 30 pound goal where I was in a race with 4 other women to lose 30 pounds and possibly win money from it. And yes, I did lose the 30 pounds and I did win the money! It’s amazing how money inspires me! J 

So far I have lost 150 pounds and so have fewer mini goals to go. I haven’t made my goal yet, but I’m still working on it second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. Turning hatred into love was the best thing I did for myself and those around me. 

I no longer attend the weight loss group even though I believe it’s a great program and the first one I recommend to people. I still needed something to keep me on track though, so I have started a Weight Loss Support Group at my church, and we meet every Saturday afternoon at 3:30 to discuss our highs and lows of the week, our successes and our goals. The cost is nothing, but the profit is astounding! We’ve got losers all over the place! J 

In saying all this, I can’t forget to mention my husband, who at first was skeptical on yet another weight loss attempt, but eventually he jumped in and started cheering me on when he began seeing results. He is my high school sweetheart, best friend and the love of my life, and I appreciate all he does to keep me motivated. He enjoys taking me away for the weekend to celebrate my weight loss and giving me a $100 bonus for every 10 pounds I lose. If anyone can make losing weight fun, he can, and I appreciate him for it. 

Sincerely, 

Melissa Henry